The Early days of pregnancy

Last week as I set up my Zoom, I waited ready to see Emma’s lovely face pop up on my screen. Emma runs her own mindfulness and wellbeing business (www.emmamartinmindfulness.com) on top of being a mum of two. She, along with so many other parents, understands the juggle of parenting and working for yourself. I first met Emma when I attended a mindfulness class for mums as I needed a bit of help switching off. In a world where everyone has access to each other 24/7 – those lines can often be blurred between work and home, making it tough to remain present in either.

Whilst talking to Emma about why she started her business, she spoke about her diagnosis of post-natal depression along with post-traumatic stress disorder following the birth of her son in 2016. After finding a local therapist, she was introduced to mindfulness and found whilst doing the exercises, it was the first time she really felt present. She talked of how her mind really calmed and wasn’t plagued with anxiety or intrusive thoughts. It was from that moment – she got the mindfulness bug!

She started researching and studying to become a mindfulness practitioner to support mums who had been through similar experiences. Wanting to campaign for Maternal Mental Health, she received her qualifications and continued training to expand her offerings into the local community. She now works online and in person to deliver mindfulness, self-care and mental health/wellbeing workshops, courses and bespoke training sessions for corporates, schools and communities. 

Boss Mums – can we have it all?

We talked about how wonderful it can be owning a business as the flexibility it brings makes the world of difference when it comes to family life. Not always, but often it means you can be at your child’s Christmas play or take a bit more time off in the school holidays. Not to mention, endless appointments and unexpected sick days that come with children.

However, where does that flexibility become a hinderance? As a parent, I think it’s fair to say our needs, dreams and hopes are often put to the bottom of the pile (certainly in those demanding early years). Whether it be childcare, time, financial stability, or simply just already being mentally overloaded – there always seems to be a hurdle in the way. If you find a way to put yourself first, you’re then often met with feelings of guilt for doing so, making it a real struggle. Mindfulness can help us to ditch the guilt and start to cultivate more self-compassion in these circumstances.

Emma explained how she must be strict with boundaries in relation to her working hours in order to ensure her mental health is protected, thus keeping herself in the best possible state for her family and all those she works with. In her mindfulness training, she uses the term “filling up your own cup” to explain this and I think that rings true for so many. So many parents (mums especially) feel guilty when practising self-care as it’s not seen a necessity – this is something that needs to change to alleviate the pressure we often feel to “have it all”.

I shared my story with Emma of how I had no idea where to really start when I began Liz Lockie Photography and I still, 3 and a bit years on, don’t feel I get the balance right all the time. I am so incredibly lucky to have my work at my home. Yes, it’s great to be able to fire off a few more emails after popping a wash load on or waiting for chicken to defrost (because let’s face it, we spend most of our lives waiting for dinner to cook). I can decide when and where I edit but having such easy access to it means it creeps into places you don’t always want it to! And this is the same for so many people across many different roles – especially since the pandemic where working from home has increased tenfold. It’s imperative to focus on the positive work-life balance this way of working gives families, but also not let it take over to the point we are mentally overloaded.

Social Media – Good or Bad?

Another big part of business in today’s world is social media. Emma explained that she started off using it as a creative outlet, to inspire and encourage others when talking about her business, but with all the algorithm changes and rules, it became something she sometimes wanted to disconnect from and more of a chore to post instead of having something to say. So, she made a pact with herself that she would remain consistent but would only post when she wanted to, so that it felt authentic.

Social media is designed to hook you in and keep you scrolling so it never turns off. So many would be quick to admit they spend far too much time on it! This can be applied to any industry as everything is now online. Social media should remain a fun, informative and therefore useful tool whether it be used for business or personal reasons. It often only shows the good parts of life. We rarely pick up our phones when our child is having a tantrum or refusing to sleep – it’s only when we are doing something fun, that we take a moment to document it. This can then result in some lives looking constantly ‘perfect’ with amazingly behaved children 100% of the time and a booming successful business that we always get right. Mindfulness can help us to be less judgemental towards ourselves and others, which is particularly useful whilst scrolling away! 

All in all, we as mums and businesswomen, want to extend a huge virtual hug out to all those performing the constant juggling act that is parenting. There is no easy option – working full time, part time, stay-at-home parent, – every combination brings its own set of challenges and you need to follow your own path that suits your family (keeping in mind it’s necessary to put yourself first too). For now, to all who are perhaps struggling with work-life balance – know you are enough, and you are doing your best, which means your children are lucky to have you.